Sour Potatoes

I know what you’re thinking. Really? A pizza, hold the cheese? Um, no thanks. And while I understand, do hear me out…

There is a subject we are all quite loathe to engage in but, well, someone’s got to. And here it is. Sometimes dairy products and bread together with your assorted processed meats can cause all manner of mischief in (some) people’s bellies. And by mischief I mean…well, I think you can guess what I mean. I think I’d better keep this space family friendly and not go into the “explosive” details.

Does cheesy pizza taste like heaven? Absolutely. Is there true joy in a gooey string of cheese stretched betwixt your slice and your mouth? No question. But is it a fact that (some) people have to loosen their belts or feel compelled to wear trousers of a stretchy nature when engaging with pizza? The answer is Yes.

But there is a solution and that is to drop that cheese like it’s hot and instead make yourself a pie that looks a little something like this:

(N0)Cheese Veggie Pizza

Let’s begin at the beginning, shall we, with a simple crust that one can make in the comfort of one’s home, I recommend the kitchen but there are no rules, except the rule to eat pizza and not have your pants balloon out like that little girl that turned into a blueberry in Willy Wonka.

Crust

I use the Quick Beer Crust from the always amazing King Arthur Flour. This recipe will make two pizza crusts.

• 4 cups King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
• 2 teaspoons instant yeast
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 ½ teaspoons salt
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 ½ cups room-temperature beer

1) Mix and knead together all of the dough ingredients — by hand, mixer or bread machine — until you’ve made a smooth, soft dough.

Hello, Dough!

2) Cover the dough, and allow it to rise for 30 minutes, or for up to 2 hours.

3) Preheat the oven to 450°F with the pizza stone (if you’re using one) on a lower rack.

4) Divide the dough in half. Shape each half into a 10″ to 12″ round.

Pizza Dough(s), Roll Out!

5) Place the rounds on parchment paper, if you’re going to use a pizza stone. Or place the dough on a lightly greased or parchment-lined baking sheet. For thin to medium crust, bake the pizzas immediately. For thicker crust, let them rise for 30 to 60 minutes.

6) Transfer the pizzas, parchment and all, to the baking stone. Or place the pans in the oven.

7) Bake for 5 minutes.

Next, Sauce

This step is fairly simple. You can always start with your favorite jarred sauce and doctor to up a bit. Or, if you are like me and you have a lot of time and limited interests, you can make it from scratch and freeze some for later.

When I make it from scratch, I like to make Mario Batali’s Basic Tomato Sauce, which you can find here.

Oh, it is so good.

Now, Toppings

Really, you can put anything you’d put on a regular pizza. I, myself, personally enjoy veggies.

Here’s what I put on ours…

Lastly…

Assemble pizza like you would a cheese-ful one.

Spread your preferred amount of sauce onto the crust and then add your veggies.

Bake for an additional 15 minutes, until the bottom crust is crisp and the cheese is bubbly and browned…just kidding on the cheese!

Serve hot and enjoy the calm and peaceful (intestinal) experience of eating delicious pizza!

Bon appetite!